Army Knife

The army was never the thing that Gary Golognite found most interesting, indeed it was the sole reason for his bone-crushing apathy which indirectly caused the death of fifteen thousand turtles and a Brian Blessed lookalike.
The problem was not the people in the army, nor was it the things that went on in the institution itself, but rather simply the fact that it existed. As Gary fingered his knife on the night he planned his massacre the only thing that ran through his head was 'Wow, this building kind of sucks'. And he was right, of course.
Some blame Gary for the death of those turtles. I agree with them.